i want to believe in a God that is more supernatural than logical, and more logical than is reasonable. i want a spirit and soul taht is full of magical awe and partial disbelief, consistently amazed by the power of the One that i follow. I want a Narnian style adventure of faith that challenges me and confronts me into being all that i could be a more. I don’t not want to be still sitting here in 12 years time wondering if there is more to life than this. I want to see africa and feel the pulse of the earth under my fingertips, and feel the rhythm deep inside me. I want to see Israel as though i live there and cry for it’s history, somehow desperate to understand it’s growing pains. i want so many things. i feel so discontent with 9-5 and a steady paycheck. i long to pack up my things, living form one small backpack, taking photogrpahs of the world the way Jesus must see it. i want to have babies and have sex in wonderful, strange places. I never want to fall out of love with my husband, but if I do it will only be so that i can fall in love with him all over again. i never want to map out my life according to the rule book, or the should-be, could’ve’s. i want the romance of my head to become the romance of my life. i want to find my flame for Christ again. i want to finish my covenant painting = i want him out of my head. i want to sit in the sun at th beach and feel beautiful because of the sun’s reflection on me. okay. enough. waffle, waffle.

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