to a frustrated friend….

“was good to speak – however briefly, last night.. i’m sorry that we didn’t continue… my listening skills can always use the practice! ;-).

i’m sorry also about the frustration that you were feeling, and can absolutely empathise. I think sometimes we are frustrated by a lack of progress or visible growth, lack of direction in the place that we are etc etc. not feeling as though we are achieving what we had hoped to be and frustration sets in because there is no obvious clue as to when circumstance might change.

i was thinking on the way to work this morning about how difficult that place is. i was crawling at snail’s pace into the city and it made me think of those childhood days when the smallest things were fascinating. i remember watching, for what seemed to my five year old mind like a whole afternoon, but was probably only ten minutes or so, a snail making it’s way along the path leading to the back yard. i was thinking that for that snail, what did progress feel like?? is it only my perception of speed and distance that made him seem so slow? did he feel his own pace in relation to the world around him? my sisters and i running through the backyard and climbing trees must have seemed like giants and supercharged speed demons… nothing more than a blur to him.

if i watched him millimetre by millimetre, it seemed achingly slow. but i distinctly remembered looking up, distracted by something in the sky or my mother’s voice and turning to look back, to discover he had moved a whole inch! and to him that would have been miles.

i don’t know if it’s perception, or perspective that brings understanding or more importantly peace. i don’t even know why i’m telling you this… if not just for the hope that frustration eases.

you’ll only be stagnant and putrefy if you’re not oxygenated, and you’re definitely not that.. i would tell you if you were! you might be moving at snail’s pace but you are definitely moving. i guess the hardest part for me has always been the frustration that God’s timing doesn’t seem to be the same as mine…. and it’s timing that we have the biggest communication difficulties with. at the end of the day though, small, slow steps or not… i’m still climbing the mountain… and when i need encouragement i turn around and admire the view that i have from where i am already… and try not to think so hard about the view where i’m going. (sometimes the thought of where i want to be brings more frustration than motivation).

now on the other hand, wok said to me on Sunday (and he is a wise, wise man)… that i cannot allow my choices to be dictated by circumstance… and coast along simply allowing things to happen. does that defeat the purpose of everything that i just said??? maybe!!! i don’t know!! sometimes you have to find the balance daily.

i’m not at church on sunday … but i am praying for you.”

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