mm. well it seems a little strange to be talking about the universe and have pictures of satellite receivers all over the place. it’s extremely sad to see the latest space disaster. very tragic especially so close to home.
the weekend was a busy one. on friday night i got my hair cut (nice nice) then went home to see mum for a while, then home home home where i jsut hung out. finally chose my papers for this year and so this week i jsut need my forms to arrive from the IRD so that i can fill in the application forms etc for my student allowances. lovely. had a relatively early night which i think was quite good for me. well i should say i intended to have a relatively early night. i ended up making carolyn’s birthday present.. a book of encouraging things.
then saturday arrived. woohoo. got up in the morning and had some cool study time and devotional time. baked in the morning : chocolate chip cookies.. but i was very naughty and made them with lots of chocolate and sweetened condensed milk and all sorts of delicious things. then went to catch up with mark over lunch = which was fabulous. he is joining my youth leadership team. fantastico! and then i went and spent the afternoon with tania. went to the mall and then hung out in the park at milford beach. talked lots about body image and weight and all that girly stuff. it was a good thing.
then i went home and got changed etc, even did my makeup for carolyn’s twenty first. arrived and caught up with mark again =- he had been doing beach evangelism that afternoon and had met this loopy guy who had jsut been released from an institution or something.. he had walked from beachhaven to orewa. that is a long long way. anyway – mark and his cousin talked to him about his life and Christ and all that stuff = turns out that he had walked to orewa looking for a teacher that he used to have that was a christian .. he had wanted to talk to him about Jesus. talk about a God thing. so mark ended up driving home. nice.
the rest of the party was ok. no dancing or anything.. jsut kinda small talked with people all night. then went home. then woke up in the morning and went to the windsor park training day. it was good in the morning. and not so good in the afternoon. in the lunch break we went to andy and kirstens house which is absolutely gorgeous on a little piece of farmland.. just stunning inside and outside. amazing. when we went back though i was fine until we broke into our teams to do more detailed planning for the year. then i started feeling miserable.. tired and wron out, totally rundown, i started thinking that i was crap and that i didn’t even like kids and that i didn’t want to be there – that was the biggest thing.. i simply didn’t want to be where i was… it was horrible. afterwards i went home and stood under the shower.. working out that it must have simply been an attack.. like i feel tired yes, but i am excited about what i am doing this year and i do want to be where i am.. i think the enemy was jsut using the past to pull me down… and so back to isaiah 43 we go “forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.. see i am doing a NEW thing, do you not yet perceive it?”
anyway.. i had some great god times last week… i learnt heaps… like the comparison that i make between god’s provision for me and his provision for others – and my fear and need for control in those areas. and also my need to become an impassioned intercessor again -= for the needs of my friends and also myself – i don’t ever pray for teh things that i want – i have a low expectation of God – i expect that the things that i want are not the things that he wants for me. sad huh… so i’m changing my attitude.. and as rick and heather both said yeaterday – an attitude of faith makes space for God to move in.
excellent. and then last night after church i told alan about how i had felt that afternoon. he prayed for me. i felt a lot better. i got to meet jo norrie’s brother daniel and his wife. they are cool. i’m praying for him as well. he’s come back from being overseas and has pretty much said goodbye tot he career that he had before that – he’s passionate about teaching but doesn’t want to fdo the 4 years training .. it was interesting being in my position of going back to what it is that i love.
there are lots of challenges in that = i am being challenged at the moment to really KNOW god… not jsut to know about him, but to have intimacy and conversation with him.
anyway. went to the pierces. nice nice. rick wasn’t feeling well. i asked him about how he felt going into the year and he said apprehensive. he can’t see the shape of what the year will look like – because his accounting job is finshing and he hasn’t started his paper yet.. that sort of thing. i told him i would be praying for him. gave dave the bruce springsteen dvd. he was cool i think… but we didn’t make it very far through it before there was soccer playing to be had. and they taught me a little bit – i played a game and watched a game and i think i learnt a bit.. i will jsut have to keep playing.
anyway – went home and had a bit of a devotional time. read in ‘experiencing god’ about the seasons of life. the thought struck me in reference to the afternoon yuckiness that because i was allowing the clouds and shadows of winter to linger i was ruining my spring. thought that might be a good thing to speak on sometime.. maybe at a real. that in combination with the whole isaiah 43 ‘ new thing’ deal.
who knows. i also prayed for discipline to keep exercising and eating well. i told god that i would do my part if he did his. mmmm.
so it was hard but i did get up this morning and climb around the block. i must have been gunning it because it was 10 mins shorter than normal. then i made a vege salad for lunch and had an omelette for breakfast.