well. it’s been a long time since i’ve blogged. don’t think that i’ve been ignoring you. it’s not like that at all. more like things always take a little readjsuting to. now that i finally have access to my computer here in the interns office it should all go a bit smoother. but then again.. it’s a little slow this PC and so difficult from a frustration perspective to update regularly. which is where the laptop comes into it. nice. i’ve seen it and played with it a little bit. i’m thinking that it’s definitely a good as buy.
what i am stressed about it the lack of movement on the student allowance front. still no confirmation that it’s been approved. i got all my documents back which is good.
anyway = let’s get to the updates shall we?
eastercamp is well underway and i’m really excited about it this year
school, is going well but these past two weeks have been really full on – i’m looking forward to a bit more of a normal lifestyle with regular blogging and emailing and messenging very soon – not much has been happening – jsut a lot fo study and working.
for communion on easter sunday morning we are going to run three separate ‘stations’.
one will be at the point, overlooking the lake and the kids will come through, pick up a hand sized stone and then place them in a mound to build an altar. the theme will be hope… when God did something in the old testament they would build a mound of stones to remember it.
one will be on the field at the foot of the cross they have there. it’s a big as wooden one. the theme will be the sacrifice. the kids will all have a piece of paper and a nail. they can nail whatever it is that strikes them to the cross.
the last one will be down by the lake. there will be a dinghy just off the shore and a fire. we’re going to talk about the restoration of Peter. that God’s forgiveness is neverending. then the kids will ahve a piece of paper that they can write on, and then burn it in the fire. whatever it is.
what do you think?
i’m probably going to lead the one down by the beach. should be wicked as. can you think of any good, mellow songs that would work jsut vocals and acoustic guitar on that theme?
i went to the bach last weekend which was really good. one of the things that i’ve been struggling with is the sudden drop of intimate friendships. there is a distinct fallout from leaving shore and settling at windsor park. and because i want to establish those intimate circles here at windsor that’s where all my effort has to go. but it’s definitely breaking into a circle.. even though i’ve been here for 8 months now.
so last week i was very down… hardly any contact with regular email buddies like dani, jo, tania and viv made me feel very disconnected. and then attempts at socialisation went appallingly. 6 rejections in one night! what am i to do!!!?? now i know itwasn’t personal but even so. when i am processing face time with people is a good good thing.
so going up north was great and a wicked time to get to know sarah better. frances is wicked as… she just makes me smile. jo and dave came up on sunday, which was nice nice. it was nice to have people come into my place. ever since i’ve been at windsor it’s been me going into other people’s space, but at ngunguru it’s irrefutably mine. but i don’t mind sharing it with these folks.
the menu was wicked… can i talk for two seconds about how great it was to cook for people all weekend? i was loving it. we had deli sandwiches on saturday and sunday… french style on saturday and then triple-decker ciabatta on sunday. with mum’s tamarillo and plum chutney. excellent. dinner on saturday night was thai green curry (marinated in onion and coriander for the aromatics, lime juice as well) on basmati rice – it was pretty good. then breakfast on sunday morning was french toast (with cinnamon), with bacon, grilled banana and spicy potatoes. served with maple syrup and fresh fruit. nice nice. the bonus with that is that in the middle of cooking it for five… (why else would dave drive 2 1/2 hours out of auckland for a day) the oven broke down. so we grabbed the charcoal barbeque from downstairs and dave got to light a fire while the girls sat around appreciatively. then cooking resumed. a little adaption and away we went, making french toast over a charcoal bbq. wicked as. did i mention it was pouring with rain?? yeah nice, for a weekend at the beach.
other beach activities. – saturday
i learnt to play canasta. nice. and nearly won my first ever round, i was only beaten in the last round. we went for a crawl around the beaches.. it didn’t rain but it was overcast apart from a few patches of blue. we walked some beaches, saw a marquee going up for a wedding reception which got us all going on our favourite topic! and then went home for lunch.. via Ngunguru Bay, where we saw the bridal party in question. they were having their photos taken on the beach. the only thing we didn’t like was the fact she was seeing teh groom before the wedding. at least we were pretty sure that they were getting married on the beach so yeah. the bridesmaids had this gorgeous shade of pink on. it was really nice. we played canasta and then read. we napped and then after dinner we curled sarah and frances’ hair. frances worked on a puzzle and then some stuff for her Statement of Intent (gotta love Fine Arts) and sarah did her reading.
other beach activities – sunday.
after the excitement of cooking breakfast we went for the same exciting beach tour that we went for on saturday. except without the wedding. but the marquee was still there. they were packing up. we played on the rope swing and took some photos. then we went around the next bay and walked some more. we went to whale bay and walked down to the beach. it was gorgeous. i love that little bush walk. i love showing people around. it’s amazing how there are rivers to kayak and estuarys to play in, fishing grounds, bays with ski lanes, bays for boats, bays for safge swimming, bays for surf swimming. golden sand and pebbly beaches and they are all within moments of each other. i love walking up the headland track and looking down the coast. i love that i’ve taken some new people to my place of belonging and they really enjoyed it.
we went to the Schnapper Rock Cafe on the way back to the bach and had coffees.. always a good entry point. went back and played canasta in teams this time. nice nice. we lost, but still fun. then had lunch, dave went for a surf… were we suspicious that we didn’t go… mmm yeah.. us girls jsut hung out and chatted. i sat on the deck and read my bible. had a bit of a journal time. it was wicked. I was reading Habbukuk and it totally brought to life for me exactly how i’ve been feeling lately. like God has been silent since i started this bible college path. and i hate it because i feel like i am constantly waiting for him to say something. or anything.
then we cleaned up and came up, had some dinner at the pierces and then the rest of the crowd arrived from church. went home feeling good, and feeling motivated.
so that being said i’ve achieved heaps this week when it comes to fieldwork assignments, study time, my general understanding and comprehension of a lot of my subjects.. all that sort of thing. so i’m feeling better. … and worse.
i’ve identified some key aspects to learn from and about from the whole Shore scenario.
teachibility.. the appearance and actuality of it may not look the same but more than being teachable i need to show people that i am teachable… so as to disprove any current misinterpretation of my attitude.
boundaries.. i need to constantly check that i am working within the boundaries given to me and be content and satisfied with that. it’s not up to me to promote myself at this point. although the time may come where it’s appropriate to say yeah, i can rise to that challenge… now is the time for others to provide the opportunity and invitation.
smart people decisions .. who to trust, how to work smartly with people. using my observation skills to apply intelligent thgouht and strategy for working well with people. keeping honesty and accountability.
however. on tuesday night we went to thames (morty, tony and i) to have an eastercamp meeting. and on the way home my conversation with tony revelaed to me that the perception out there is still a pretty miserable one.
so yeah. i’m working hard to stay positive and to keep the faith.
heather is encouraging because she jumped in on wednesday morning to point out that windsor park not accepts me but believes in me and so i don’t ahve to keep freaking out over the shadows of the past, but rather know that this is a safe place.
mmm. yes it’s all good. just lots of processing and thinking and planning.