monday night

I’m here. It’s a whole year later and I am here. So much has changed in this last year. I can’t believe all the things that are different. Last year at this time I was so insecure and desperately holding on to all the things that were so dear to me. I had no idea what was going to happen after camp and I had all these dreams and hopes and no way of seeing them into fruition.

Easter to easter is how I live my life. Constantly framed by sacrifice and restoration, salvation and an eternal hope and none of it by my hand. All of it done by the hand of God and that is a miracle in itself … that is so much what God has done for me this year. Just the expectancy now that I have.. the excitement. The hope of friendship in place of seeking purpose at Windsor Park. It’s all come together in ways that I couldn’t possibly imagine.

It’s really sad for me that simon isn’t going to be here this year. I half expect him to drive on up through the gates on Thursday

I wish that he would and yet I’m not sure where he fits into my life anymore. I don’t want to simply say goodbye but I don’t know that I know where to put him….

Mostly right now…. Well it’s 11.27pm – I will upload this tomorrow if I can… mostly right now I am enjoying the silence that being right beside the lake provides. I’m looking forward to what tomorrow brings. I’m looking forward to so much.

I had the best dream last night where all through the dream I was walking, but the whole way a friend was walking beside me with his arm around my shoulder. Now it was a nice dream… I woke up feeling really good and safe and I’ve felt that way all day.. and I’m going to go out on a limb in this reflection time… and say that even though in the dream it was a good friend of mine… and a lovely one that I adore at that… but I think that God has had his arm around me all day today.

I think that he probably has his arm around me a lot more of the time than I normally give credit for.. but today especially.. coming down to this place and being here in the stillness and quiet. It’s cold and calm. But it’s a beautiful peace that settles my spirit.

Tony was talking about having a special prayer and communion time tomorrow in the main marquee once it’s all up. As part of communion on Sunday morning we are splitting into three areas etc etc .. tony’s area will be building an altar out of rocks… but his idea is that we as a key team do that tomorrow, and build one in expectation and in humility.. laying it down at the feet of God and asking him to do something extraordinary.

On another note, last night I was at the pierces… just for a change =

And the police helicopter was going around and around… a bit scary. Dave came home from tania’s wedding and said that there were a stack of police cars around. Turns out that there was a triple stabbing with two fatalities just around the corner from their house. How’s that for some reality right there.

Anyway.. I’m real excited and I can’t wait for james to get here with his camera so that I can email you photos. Wicked.

Ciao for now. When I wake up the birds will be singing. There will be a still mist on the lake and it will be gorgeous.

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