From The Spare Room
I have an ec2004 meeting in hamilton tomorrow and we (the team) are meeting in greenlane at 8.45am. that’s about 30 mins from my house normally, but anywhere from an hour to two hours from my house in rush hour traffic. it’s about 3 mins from my mum’s place even in rush hour traffic. hence i’m in the spare room (which used to just be plain old my room.
it was really nice to drive up north on friday night, chill out and relax, then wake up in sunny northland on saturday morning. ned made eggs benedict with chorizo and then we cruised around the beaches and went to the Schnapper Rock Cafe. ned then made fresh pasta for lunch and we hung out on the deck and relaxed all day. on saturday night te3re (silent three, remember) and dottie the dog arrived. i made butter chicken from scratch and then we watched the Sound Of Music. sunday wa more of the same.
Dang, It’s Chilly In That Pool
two of my youth gruopies got baptised last night and i was lucky enough to be in the pool with them, dunking away. later when we were in the bathroom getting changed, i was expounding on how because of my ‘natural insulation’ i would be more likely to survive in an artic plane crash because of the additional insulation around my core organs, and the extra buoyancy gained from the same insulation. heather and sarah thought that i was a little kooky. i was jsut saying that i would understand if they wantd to stay close should we ever be in an artic plane crash together.
Feeling Worse For Wear
today was jo’s first day off school. wicked. she cleaned. i moped around because i was feeling ill, mostly from the chill i got last night. so i didn’t really see or do or hear anything interesting until i got to school. had girls group and then my theology lecture.. i moped with gina over my sad email inbox. or lack of. that’s okay though, getting over it.
it’s also jo’s 39th birthday today, so cherie and i took her out to zavitos in mairangi bay… not the same place that did the kooky chicken salad, but somewhere altogether different. it was cool. we got talking about how God does strange stuff sometimes. a couple of people have been really motivated to take certain action lately, and God has clearly told them not to. it’s just weird and hard. she looks stunning and beautiful considering that she is about to give birth. she is 38 weeks tomorrow. it’s hard to understand why God has taken her on this path, or allowed for others to take her on this path.
and it’s funny because she says that she isn’t sure that she’s grown stronger as a christian through this time… but isn’t that funny… because i think she has simply because she glows more and she’s had to trust God more. so today’s lecture and talking abot how much we try to find the reason and understanding in everything doesn’t really measure up.
i mean, of course, so many of us do look for the reasons and answers and explanations why, and yet some have the faith to simply trust god with the journey, regardless of how hard it is. which is better? to wrestle with the questions we cannot answer in the hope of finding further meaning in the midst of it, or to understand that not only can some questions not be answered, but some simply shouldn’t.
after all, if you know something to be irrevocably true, what measure of faith is required? better to know that God is true and His love and law just and leave everything smaller to faith? perhaps it is more of what was being talked about in class… that as we become older, we think about God’s action in our life less in the external workings but more in the internal.
where does that leave me, who at this moment feels swollen in the head with knowledge and ideas and understanding\/ i relish the opportunity to discuss and wrestle with this… and yet i sense the the deeper parts of me are still remaining somehow untouched… my ideas and thoughts and thinking is being challenged,… but am i? what is God doing to change me today? what parts of my life is he looking to redecorate and relandscape?
Speaking Of Landscaping
karl madsen from YFC used to be a landscape gardener. he rang me today. it sounds like things have had a shuffle round there again and he wants to see me this week. so i am going to see him on wednesday morning. should be interesting. summer harvest is jsut around the corner. weird. so much has changed since then. and so much is still the same. God is still Good and Great.
you are so sweet to me
like moonlight in doorways
you make things appear
different to what they are
and things through your eyes are much
i’m making it the hard way
fighting all the goodness
never laying down all that i should
i am fighting your sweetness
trying to take the sugar off my
pleasing myself and pleasing you
there’s a civil war between the
hemispheres of my head, my heart
likes to break over and over
my sugarcane heart breaks over you.