“What if?”, the question echoes in my mind. The silence in response of the same echoing kind. There is no fathomable answer to the plaguing, repeating drone – for I know not why “what if” has not become “what is’. I cannot reason that it is some cruel turn of God’s unseen hand, to tempt and tease with if, when is seems so far out of reach.
“What Is.”, a statement, no longer question. A fact, concrete and living thing. What is will not be put aside for if, because Present is all there truly is. My heart, sick yes, with hope deferred and endless wondering of “what if?”, is not so inclined to Trust in Him. Only being Present in What Is can honour Him and discipline the wayward heart to trust again.. For “what if?” wonders at the mysteries that His alone should truly be, so for His glory their display, the turns and hands He has to play. “What If”, that questions only what we’ll see. He does not jest with us, not once, and understands the fragile human heart. He doesn’t simply crush our hopes, but says, come now and understand “What Is.”
“What Is.” is I Am, is I Was, is I Ever Will Be. “What Is.” is Present to the moment and the day. Presses us closer towards the Light that reveals the Master’s work – still barely seen, the ripples in each day but at a distance of some “What Was.”, the vast, expansive movement of His Love is bright.
That What Is., God in the Present (tense) is the only path, to What Can Be.
Setting New Directions
Coming up to the New Year, there are cycles of grief and joy to celebrate and mourn. In all the wondering and setting of the compass to new territories and new sights – I learn and hold fast, listening deeply to songs of hope – and remember to let What Is., have it’s day in me – that hope is found in What Can Be, not in What If?.
Here are my ‘anchor songs’….in no particular order.
Matt Maher – Lay It Down
Matt Maher – Unwavering
Matt Maher – Leave A Light On
Matt Maher/Chris Tomlin – Your Grace Is Enough
Charlie Hall – Come For Me
Chris Tomlin – All The Way My Saviour Leads Me
Chris Tomlin – I Stand Amazed
Chris Tomlin – I Will Rise
Jennifer Knapp – Martyrs And Thieves
Jennifer Knapp – Return To Me
Jennifer Knapp – Hold Me Now